Page one. I finally found the time to reflect on my past and look into myself. It seems as though I haven't been able to feel anything I haven’t already felt.
Page two. I don’t see these things as negatives, I truly try to look towards the light. But you must understand, it’s hard to live in the present when you can’t even fall asleep at night.
Page three. There are words scratched out. Thoughts never fully composed. Times are dark, thoughts are darker, and that’s the way that it goes.
These times are transparent and it’s so hard to make it. I live in a blackened hole. No hindsight and no self control. You’ll read me like a book, open for you, every breath I took. Hold hope, make it out alive. Grit my teeth and just close my eyes.
Page four. The erasure on this page seems to outweigh the boldness of the writing. It was as if there was more to say, but there was no use in fighting.
Page five. There is nothing on this side. The whiteness of the blank sheet seemed to match the color of your eyes.
Page six. Spaces appear between lines and words where they shouldn’t be. Bold phrases are underlined and ink has soaked through the page. What’s more to say when the lines have been drawn, games have been played? I know I’m not the man that I once was but, I don’t know if I’m okay with that yet.
I’m sorry for the writing, but this may just be the last. The wind has picked up nicely and the pace is getting fast. You didn’t have to tell me, but I wish you would’ve asked. If you won’t be my safe haven you may have to be my past.
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