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The One You Feed

by Desires

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04:32
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04:10
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02:34
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released July 29, 2016

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Desires Detroit, Michigan

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Track Name: On Being Alone
She said she loved the sky when it looked like falling stars. It was the only light I've ever felt that was close enough to ours. And her breath held in the air, ever so thin.
Her dark eyes locked into mine, to speak was a sin.

Behind my eyes are waves of automatic blue. The color that I turned when staring back at you.
The broken bones of a spineless being, I’d lost all worth. They say time comes with healing, from death till birth.

But now the speck in my iris will seem less significant.
Your eyes contain such beauty, but the breath that they take will be forever lessened.

The breath they take. Or is it the breath that they took? My body's worn down, my eyes are closed now. Frayed edges, torn page in a book.

Behind my eyes are waves of automatic blue. The color that I turned when staring back at you.
The broken bones of a spineless being, I’d lost all worth. They say time comes with healing, from death till birth.

I lay awake every single night, but something about the silence feels right.
It gives me time to think and set my mind free.
But the truth is, how alone can I be?
Cause when I see a father with his son. Or a man with his wife.
Or two friends sitting together having the time of their life, I realize.
Something isn't true about the words that you told me.
I like being alone.
I just hate feeling lonely.
Track Name: Crux
I still see your silhouette. I still feel your breath on my neck. I’m drowning in memories. I’d come up for air but the reality is, the water better for me.

I still hear your voice at night. I still feel your body by my side. I'm drowning in memories but the water is better for me.

There is no time left to be replaceable. But there is good in every goodbye.

Black clouds follow and pour down but I still love the rain.

Compare your loss to those who have suffered worse from their chosen foes. I know my broken bones will never heal if I'm left alone. Join hands let's make a toast to the ones still here, those who helped us grow. We are the monuments of the present tense, and the past is nothing but ashes.

You are not my heart, you are not my home. I'm not dying for this.

It's not about what you've left behind, but what you've taken from the ones that have hurt you, the lies you've been told, the things that can't be undone. ‘Cause these Michigan winters will chill my skin, but I refuse to long for your warmth again. The sun will come, the snow will melt, and the changes will begin.
Track Name: Safe Haven
Page one. I finally found the time to reflect on my past and look into myself. It seems as though I haven't been able to feel anything I haven’t already felt.

Page two. I don’t see these things as negatives, I truly try to look towards the light. But you must understand, it’s hard to live in the present when you can’t even fall asleep at night.

Page three. There are words scratched out. Thoughts never fully composed. Times are dark, thoughts are darker, and that’s the way that it goes.

These times are transparent and it’s so hard to make it. I live in a blackened hole. No hindsight and no self control. You’ll read me like a book, open for you, every breath I took. Hold hope, make it out alive. Grit my teeth and just close my eyes.

Page four. The erasure on this page seems to outweigh the boldness of the writing. It was as if there was more to say, but there was no use in fighting.

Page five. There is nothing on this side. The whiteness of the blank sheet seemed to match the color of your eyes.

Page six. Spaces appear between lines and words where they shouldn’t be. Bold phrases are underlined and ink has soaked through the page. What’s more to say when the lines have been drawn, games have been played? I know I’m not the man that I once was but, I don’t know if I’m okay with that yet.

I’m sorry for the writing, but this may just be the last. The wind has picked up nicely and the pace is getting fast. You didn’t have to tell me, but I wish you would’ve asked. If you won’t be my safe haven you may have to be my past.
Track Name: Mercury
You left me hanging with my head down.
Feet swinging, I'd rather drown.
You say you have the sustenance, I see nothing heaven sent. Where did I go wrong? Where did I go wrong? There's nothing crystal fucking clear to show me I’ll be strong. But I'm alright.

My blood is made from mercury, what shines for you is killing me.

Where is there meaning left when all we know is broken? Shadows are all I see
How do we cope with loss when all our words are spoken? This is not all I will be.

Lay into me, pray you're through me, see my death, see right through me. Cut me quick but, do it deep, ‘cause time will heal or (I’m assuming) that this is the turning point for all that I have felt.

This is a open letter to my sanity. I swear that all that she has taken from you no longer will be. Because I’ve done too much to hurt myself and now I'm left with nothing else, the book you read sits on a shelf, it's time for me to grow.

Page one.

I've found the time to look into my self. I swear, I will feel things I have not already felt.
Track Name: Orchre & Mauve
I needed you through flesh and bone
But all you crave is flesh alone.
Regardless of emotion, no matter the one
Mistakes that you've made still are things that you've done.

Listen to the words that you're saying.
No one should ever feel this way.
Glisten with the promise of a summer.
Remember, not all who come can stay.

I needed you through flesh and bone
But all you crave is flesh alone.
My body will tremble from lack of your glance
But I feel no more worry in the things that I lack.

Listen to the words that you're saying.
No one should ever feel this way.
Glisten with the promise of a summer.
Remember not all who come can stay.

I needed you through flesh and bone
But all you crave is flesh alone.
Relinquish your lust, remain in the light
There is no question, if you love you will fight.

Listen to the words that you're saying.
No one should ever feel this way.
Glisten with the promise of a summer.
Remember not all who come can stay.

Remember not all who come can stay.